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On the Coast Magazine

Are You Sabotaging Your Success?

01/04/2016 01:22PM ● Published by Nancy Babin

“Enough! I am so over this!” I yelled out in the silence of the morning. It had been nearly five years since I went through the financial pain of losing my homes to foreclosure and short sales. It had been almost a decade since the dissolution of my eighteen-year marriage. And yet, I was still living the pain of those experiences every day. I had taken on an identity of failure, and it was affecting everything I did—or didn’t do. In other words, self-sabotage was running my life!

 

What about you?

 

Have you set your goals, and yet...something is getting in your way? Do you know what you want, and yet...something or someone seems to be holding you back? You can see this happening, but you haven’t quite pinpointed the culprit.

 

Let’s get right to it. The culprit that holds you back is You.

 

You have been sabotaging your own success, though you may not realize it. Self-sabotage is a game of the subconscious. It occurs in hidden parts of your mind and most of the time you are not even aware you are sabotaging yourself. Who would ever deliberately undermine or attack their own dreams?

 

The answer is no one would ever undermine their own desires consciously. But everyone, to some extent, does it subconsciously...until they become aware of their sabotage patterns and slay them!

 

Self-sabotage happens when you have a core belief that interferes or is not in harmony with your goals and dreams. This is what self-sabotage looked like for me:

 

After the foreclosures, I continued to run my businesses, except I was so risk-adverse, the projects I took on were way below my usual standard. After the divorce, I continued to enjoy my personal life, but I was riddled with fear of loss.

 

I questioned—deeply questioned—my desire for the material and even considered becoming a minimalist (that’s actually funny, given how much I love to live well), and I renounced the material and the desires of my heart. I decided those things brought too much pain and it was better to not want them. (Unless you are truly called to be a minimalist, this is where all of you underachievers cheer for my enlightenment and together we celebrate how spiritual we are!)

 

Obviously, I now believe that decision was just one of the ways I was sabotaging and keeping myself small. For me, small meant safe; and after being beat up in life, feeling safe was all I wanted.

 

Have you allowed negative circumstances to keep you from really living? Like me, did you let failure and setbacks keep you from enjoying a greater level of success?

 

The breakthrough for me came when I was asked the following question...

 

Imagine a BIG production company came to you with a huge budget and a line-up of the biggest names in Hollywood to make a movie of your life.  Tell me, would anyone want to go see it?

And if they did, would it be pegged as a great adventure; filled with outrageous risk and incredible quests?

Would it be a suspense movie; peppered with dramatic failures where you turned victim into victory?

Would it be an empowering love story – a heart-warming example of a person who knows how to put themselves out there and really risk in love and life even if they’ve been hurt before?

In other words…

Do you allow set-backs to stop you or fuel you?

This question was like a jolt of truth that unlocked the shackles and rocketed my next level of living. I realized that my life was supposed to have failure, heartache, and disappointment. In fact, it’s the negative circumstances that gave me opportunity to make a change, expand, and grow.

That was the moment I gave myself permission to embrace all of those pesky setbacks and change my perspective of them!

Within weeks of that breakthrough I rented out my Florida home and moved to Europe for 3 months! I wrote in sidewalk cafes all over Florence, Prague, Stockholm, and Paris. It didn’t matter how many challenges I experienced or how deeply I was hurt; LIFE WAS CALLING and I chose to answer!

What about you?

What do you make negative circumstances mean in your life? Is the movie of your life too boring because you hide behind failure and set-backs? 

Don’t collapse what happened to you with what’s possible for you!

Today is a new day! The challenges you have do not define you. They are gifts that help you wake up to what you really want. They are the fuel you need to take off in a new direction. Will you give yourself permission to launch?

I just returned from Scotland where I launched my third book, Slay the Dragon. I spent 2 weeks sharing that message and watching the incredible break throughs of people overcoming sabotage, taking back their lives and giving themselves permission to believe in their dreams again.

Are you one of those people?

If that production company asked to follow you around and make a movie of your life, would you give yourself permission to live the most epic adventure? This is your birthright and a gift you give yourself and others.

Lights... Camera... Action!

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