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On the Coast Magazine

Gifting Yourself Proper Perspective

11/04/2013 10:48AM ● Published by Nancy Babin

Perspective is a tricky little word. We use it all the time. In Latin it means “to
see through,” and most often we use it as a matter of opinion or how
someone “sees it.” But it is also used to help visualize a rendering: “The art
of drawing two solid objects on a two-dimensional surface so as to give the
right impression of their height, width, depth, and position in relation to each
other when viewed from a particular point.”

Although pretty techy-sounding and more complex than the first more
simplified meaning, I find this extremely interesting and worth pondering.
This sounds like what we women do every day, all day long. We take our
pencil and notepad and first sketch out ourselves, usually with not much
accuracy and typically largely exaggerated on the less attractive features.
Then we carry out our day, notepad close by, constantly and most
unconsciously sketching other women we encounter throughout the day right
next to our own. Oh, many types make the list but most are the ones you
love to hate. You know her…the woman who is taller or thinner. She has a
beautifully sculpted face or body or worse, both! Maybe she just has a
pop-star personality and a big gorgeous smile that makes her the social
magnet you always wanted to be. Wow! What you have before you are two
totally different renderings. One is a Beauty and, well, you are the ugly

I find much irony in this daily perspective of how we view others and
ourselves. By definition, perspective should produce a “right impression,” yet
it falls short in so many ways. Proper perspective is lost when only outward
appearance is considered, and the “seeing through” is disregarded
altogether. This not only produces a striving in our minds and souls to “be
more,” but it overlooks that within each and every woman there is a heart
with a story. Whole or broken, restored or renegade, sweet or bitter…there is
a story, a novel worth reading. She has experienced life, good or bad, and is
a plethora of information as well as inspiration.

I am not speaking as someone who has never been in this place. Believe me,
I have stacks of notebooks with rendered comparisons from past years. Not
only have I been there but I developed an eating disorder as a result of
wrong perspective. As women we will always have that tendency to “covet”
what another woman may have, but there is a healthier way to channel
these desires. As I have matured and searched my own heart, I have learned
the art of reading women. After beating myself up for years and striving to
be everyone else except whom I was created to be, I gave myself permission
to be me, to begin enjoying the true beauty I possess and the beauty I can
offer other women as well. This freedom came when I confronted my
insecurities and developed the mindset that I would no longer compare and
compete. Moving forward I would look at every woman as an opportunity for
me to either encourage or be encouraged, motivate or be motivated, inspire
or be inspired. I would learn from her and she from me if she were open to it.
I cannot tell you how liberating this was to my soul. It’s where real beauty is
penned; each and every page in my notebook became life-giving rather than
life-wrecking, revealing and unveiling the “why” behind the “who” of each
precious woman. It became about learning and gleaning from her setbacks
that have now made her determined, her wounded heart that has been
repaired and now unbreakable or her victories that have solidified her new
course and established undeniable strength and empowerment. It’s the real
stuff behind her outer beauty.

Once you begin to face your insecurities and embrace being beautifully you,
lost perspective is found and you realize we really all have the same goal: to
love and be loved and to feel and look as beautiful as we can. As women to
women, you become unified instead of divided. Information shared is
inspiration caught! Kind of like Girl Power…

So as the holiday season approaches and gifts are being bought for your
family and friends, give yourself the greatest gift of all…the gift where real
beauty resides… the gift of Proper Perspective!
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perspective strength empowerment girl power novemberdecember 2013
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